Let me tell you a true story…
I’d just arrived at a strategic planning away day with the trust leadership team, when I get a call. It’s a builder, James, who is doing some work on my parents’ bungalow. Luckily, he’s a friend of my brother, and has managed to get my mobile number.
He quickly explains that when he arrived at my parents’ house that morning, he found my Dad on the bathroom floor. Dad was shivering, unable to stand and had been on the floor in his pyjamas for hours. James had managed to get him up and put him back in bed.
I burst into tears. This was the final straw. My mum had already been admitted to hospital a few days before as she had had a suspected stroke, leaving my Dad home alone. I just felt totally overwhelmed and distraught.
My lovely colleagues immediately came to my rescue, with reassurance, care and kindness. I truly didn’t know what to do. This was an important day. We had hired rooms offsite so that we could work together intensively to pull together the next trust strategic plan. I wanted to be there to contribute to the thinking.
But I was also torn. My Dad was clearly unwell and my brother was working away. I was the only family member within reach that day.
Of course, I decided to go to my Dad. I have spent my career reassuring colleagues that family has to come first so I knew deep down that was the only option. But as I drove away from the venue, still tearful, I felt a mixture of guilt, frustration and resignation.
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The reality is, as leaders, we are also fundamentally human. We are juggling our commitments to our partners, children, or elderly parents. We need to be resilient to challenges from many different directions, and sometimes, if these pile on top of us, we temporarily need to take a break or seek help.
I was really lucky to work within a trust leadership team that understood that. My CEO trusted me to make the right decision, and supported me with this. Similar events also occurred when I was a Headteacher – affecting both myself and others. This is one of the reasons why I believe it is so important to build a strong, supportive culture and an effective empowered team. Then if one of you needs to step away for a moment, the team can continue to run effectively, keeping the children and the school safe.
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On reflection, I’m sure that I made the right decision, for my circumstances. When I arrived at my Dad’s house, it was evident that he was quite unwell, and had a high temperature. Later that day, he was also admitted to hospital with pneumonia. Fortunately, on that occasion both parents recovered and were able to return home a few days later.
How would you have dealt with this situation, or a similar one? What other strategies do you have to ensure that your team is resilient and has capacity to manage challenging events? Join in the conversation and share your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you.
If you are finding that you are juggling lots of challenges at the moment – whether these are professional, personal or both – I may be able to help. When you are stressed and overwhelmed, sometimes it can be hard to see the wood for the trees, to make the right decisions and choose the right path. I can help you with that. Drop me a DM to arrange a free discovery call.
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